Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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