The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
