Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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