Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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