He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I intend to get homeless drunk
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
