"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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