you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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