Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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