He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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