I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
