listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
