Jerry, you need to find god
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
