I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You are a genius and a whore.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
