Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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