We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize