honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
