I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
