I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
