Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
