My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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