Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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