What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
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I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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