Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?

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(914): View more from New York

so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok

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(614): View more from Ohio

He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!

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(661): View more from California

Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.

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