She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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