He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
