She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
