2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
