Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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