just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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