Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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