I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
