Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
