There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
