There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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