Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so let's talk penis.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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