6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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