Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
