Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
