If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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