Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
