Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
