i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
