But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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