why do cheetos always look like penises
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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