About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
this is an emotional support booty call
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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