Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
