Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
