VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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