All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
