So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
