Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize