true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
