check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
