apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
