Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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