I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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