If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize