ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
