mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
