I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She bit a glass in half.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
