Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
