There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
