I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
