I've blown a few things in my day
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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