I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
