New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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