So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
